Officer Asked About My Education, and I Was Like, 'You Mean How Many PhDs in Common Sense Do I Have?'
Let’s talk about education.
Not the kind with diplomas, student loans, and awkward yearbook photos.
We’re talking about the real kind.
The kind you get from:
- Surviving a roommate from hell
- Figuring out why the Wi-Fi won’t work (it was the router the whole time)
- And knowing that if the smoke alarm chirps at 3 a.m., it’s not a ghost — it’s the batteries
And in that moment — when the officer asked about my education — I realized:
I may not have a framed degree on the wall…
But I’ve got multiple PhDs in common sense.
And honestly?
That’s the only diploma that matters when you’re trying to survive adulthood.
🎓 The Real Curriculum: Where Common Sense Degrees Are Earned
Let’s break down the university of life, where the tuition is stress and the final exam is every Monday morning.
1. PhD in Adulting Survival
This degree is earned through:
- Learning how to unclog a toilet with a plunger and sheer willpower
- Figuring out which bills actually need to be paid this week
- Mastering the art of the “I’m not home” silence when your phone rings
It’s not taught in classrooms.
It’s learned in the trenches of laundry day, car trouble, and awkward family dinners.
And if you’ve ever fixed a leak with duct tape and hope?
Congratulations.
You’re a doctor.
2. Master’s in Emotional Intelligence (From Breakups)
You didn’t get this from a seminar.
You got it from:
- The breakup that made you cry for three days
- The friendship that fell apart over a text
- The time you said the wrong thing and had to apologize for a week
And now?
You know when to speak.
And when to just hand someone a snack and say, “I’m here.”
That’s not just empathy.
That’s advanced emotional engineering.
3. Bachelor’s in Street Smarts (Honors, With a Minor in Sarcasm)
This one’s earned in the real world.
You learn:
- How to spot a fake $20 bill
- When to walk faster (and when to start singing to seem crazy)
- And that “I’m just browsing” is a universal shield against pushy salespeople
And the minor in sarcasm?
That’s for surviving family gatherings.
And yes — it’s a required course.
📸 Real-Life “Common Sense PhD” Moments That Went Viral
Let’s look at some legendary examples of people who aced life without ever stepping foot in a lecture hall.
🚗 The Woman Who Fixed Her Car With a Gum Wrapper
A woman’s car breaks down.
She pops the hood.
She finds a loose wire.
She wraps it in a gum wrapper (for insulation, obviously).
Car starts.
She says: “They didn’t teach this in school, but my grandma did.”
It gets 8 million views.
Caption: “Doctorate in Practical Magic.”
🍳 The Guy Who Saved Dinner With Burnt Toast
A man burns dinner.
He doesn’t panic.
He toasts bread.
Adds butter.
Calls it “crispy garlic bites.”
His date says: “These are amazing!”
He says: “I have a degree in damage control.”
And honestly?
That’s culinary genius.
📱 The Teen Who Outsmarted a Scammer
A teen gets a call: “Your computer has a virus!”
He says: “Oh no! How do I fix it?”
They say: “Give me remote access.”
He says: “One sec, let me get my mom… she’s a detective.”
Silence.
Call ends.
He posts it online: “Today, I graduated summa cum laude in common sense.”
And the internet says: “Hire this kid.”
🧠 Why Common Sense Is the Most Underrated Degree
Because deep down, we know:
You can have a degree in quantum physics…
But if you don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet, what’s the point?
Schools teach you:
- Math
- Grammar
- History
But they don’t teach you:
- How to talk to your landlord
- When to walk away from a toxic job
- Or how to tell if guacamole has gone bad
And that’s where common sense comes in.
It’s not about knowing facts.
It’s about knowing life.
And if you’ve ever:
- Fixed something with tape
- Talked your way out of a ticket
- Or known that “I’m fine” doesn’t always mean “I’m fine”
Then you’ve earned your PhD in real-world wisdom.
📣 Final Thoughts
So yes — when the officer asked about my education?
I didn’t list schools.
I said: “You mean how many PhDs in common sense do I have?”
And if he’d let me, I’d have given a full dissertation on:
- Surviving on instant noodles
- The psychology of passive-aggressive sticky notes
- And why you should never trust a free printer
Because in the real world?
Common sense isn’t just smart.
It’s survival.
And that’s exactly what “Fun Source” is all about.
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